“all things” is not a capitalization error. With all my usual blind eye typos, I figure I need to get that out of the way immediately. It is not my fault. Gillian Anderson is just being cutsy in naming her episode. “all things’ is the second of three episodes from the seventh season written by a main cast member. It is the worst of the three, but if you have seen it, you are already aware. There is really no point to the story.
I have spent a considerable amount of time taking jabs at David Duchovny for his open contempt for being stuck on a science fiction series that made him fabulously wealthy and the terrible, terrible of suffering the adoration of millions of fans, many of them of the attractive female variety. I mean, who would not engage in public clenched fist, foot stomping tantrums over such unbearable circumstances? Now it is Anderson’s turn. Admittedly, I do not critique her much for public attitude regarding The X-Files. as far as I know, the only thing she has gone on record as saying is that she moved to the United Kingdom to still be considered an actress, rather than just Scully. By all other accounts, she has been appreciative of her fans.
But she is a weird one. If you have ever seen her interviewed, you are familiar with her stream of conscious way of responding to questions peppered with random absurdities. One can only imagine what her private conversations with friends and family must be like. She is something of a Buddhist--at least her first marriage was performed by a Buddhist monk--but her beliefs boil down to if it sounds like New Age existentialism, then she likes. Auras, ying yangs, chakras, or molasses colonics to expel evil thoughts--if you can convince her its spiritual, she will go for it. My college experience proves such girls are fun in the short term. They are also more willing than most to take their clothes off, a virtue that cannot be dismissed. What they are not good for is writing scripts.
Bless her heart, Anderson gives it ye olde college try. It is immediately obvious “all things’ is a highly personal project. She injects scully with much of herself. Unfortunately, Scully is a character who often struggles with her professional need for logical, cogent proof of anything she is asked to believe in versus her devout faith in Catholicism. What she is not is a New Age faith healer who embraces the idea spiritual health can effect the physical. But in ’all things,’ she is.
I have said before when reviewing the episodes written by Duchovny and William B. Davis that not only are the characterizations of the other cast members a bit off when written by a non-writer, but script writer tends to put himself in his character’s shoes, as well. Fantasy fulfillment or personal indulgence, take your pick. Anderson did that sort of thing, too, so I am going to be as gentle as I can in my critique.
“all things” is an incredibly strange, existential journey with all sorts of weird imagery and symbolism. It meanders between exploring regret over the roads not taken and forgiveness for past transgressions. But like Anderson’s stream of conscious way of speaking, you have to carefully piece together what she is trying to say because she cannot come right out and say what is on her mind. Her script is the work of a pseudo-intellectual who thinks because no one understands what is so clearly obvious to her, it must be highly enlightened rather than a muddled mess.
Watching ‘all things,” I am reminded of Head, the film the Monkees made after their television series was cancelled. They were fed up with the bad scripts they were being given on the series, so the manufactured hippie singers locked themselves in a house with Jack Nicholson for weekend, smoked pot, and brainstormed until they had enough disjointed material to fill two hours. I remain unconvinced Anderson did not have a similar experience writing “all things.” A somersaulting turtle could have shown up reciting the Gettysburg Address in Esperanto and I would not think it was the slightest bit out of place.
A series of coincidences lead Scully back to a medical school professor, Daniel Waterston, she carried on an affair with back in the day. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him, but she broke it off. You have to infer it, mostly from Wasterston’s daughter’s animosity towards Scully, that Waterston’s wife discovered the affair and committed suicide. Whether it was the affair itself, or he announced he was leaving her for scully that prompted her decision is unclear. But he is still in love with her. Scully still has feelings for him, too, but they are mostly recurring doubts about her decisions in life. Waterston is dying, but cannot go until the issue with Scully is resolved.
Scully takes this journey of self-discovery or forgiveness or an M. Scott Peck pop psychology book or whatever the heck this thing is as an illusory vision during Buddhist meditation. I say that because throughout the episode, she is prompted by a beat--from music, a tapping pencil, swinging pendulum, an Iv drip, a heart beat, and a sign swinging in the wind, to hallucinations or dreamscapes that guide her to enlightenment. Such rhythmic beats are a traditional part of Buddhist meditation. I am guessing Scully is on a walkabout here.
What does it all mean? Your guess is as good as mine. She keeps seeing patterns in crop circle photos which have a meaning for her, but we never find out what it is. She keeps seeing a young woman who is not really there that I suppose is the late Mrs. Waterston. a painting appears in a Buddhist shrine where God speaks to her. The painting is also in Mulder’s presentment at the end. All this leads her to request a holistic healer to work on the comatose Waterston so she can tell him what they had in the past is gone. Apparently, his chakra needs to hear this so he can die in peace. Or something. I do not know. I doubt you could smoke enough pot in one sitting for “all things” to make a lick of sense.
Fans still like this episode for the opening teaser. It shows Scully getting dressed in a bathroom, only to reveal it is Mulder’s bathroom. He is asleep in bed. The scene strongly hints the two slept together. The teaser is actually an epilogue, however. The end of the episode shows her falling asleep on Mulder’s couch with him leaving her there while he goes to bed. Shipper’s still cling to the fact she was putting her clothes on in the teaser to say she was probably naked in bed with Mulder. More likely, she showered after sleeping all night on his couch. But you may believe whatever paddles your canoe.
It sounds like I am down on “all things.” That is not really true. By no means is it a good episode. It sticks out like a sore thumb from the rest of the pack. But there is a certain entertainment value in its inherent weirdness. The episode is not done poorly, aside from some disorienting camera angles first time director Anderson employs to get the dream-like theme across. “all things” is an earnest exploration of Anderson’s thoughts and beliefs. They just happen to be way off kilter.
“all things” features the song “The Sky is Broken” all throughout. The beat establishes the motif of all subsequent beating patterns that prompt Scully’s meditative journey. Listening to it at least once will help give you an idea of what I have been talking about. “The Sky is Broken” is the second Moby song to appear in the seventh season.
“all things” is not a capitalization error. With all my usual blind eye typos, I figure I need to get that out of the way immediately. It is not my fault. Gillian Anderson is just being cutsy in naming her episode. “all things’ is the second of three episodes from the seventh season written by a main cast member. It is the worst of the three, but if you have seen it, you are already aware. There is really no point to the story.
